BEWARE OF DR. HORRIBLE SPOILERS THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE PUTTING UNDER A CUT

So Joss Whedon wins me over again. I don't normally get into musicals much. I certainly don't hate them, but I don't get into them like many others do. But this was just awesome. Neil Patrick Harris was of course amazing, as was Nathan Fillon (the way he said 'the hammer is my penis' had me laughing for like 5 minutes straight) and the girl whose name I don't know was awesome as well. And OF COURSE somebody had to die and it had to be depressing and, oh, Joss Whedon, you are an evil evil genius.

So I recently registered at that pandora website, the radio one, and now I keep getting these weird pop ups, which never happens on this computer. Talk about a website living up to its namesake.

Anyway, I have a ton of books I should be reading (not for school, or anything, since I am currently working towards getting into a school, but more b/c I bought them and they're sitting on my shelves looking at me with their book non-eyes and I need to fix that) and I'm hoping that if I type them out in list form here, I will miraculously be motivated to actually read them. Okay, so:

1. Chuck Klosterman IV
2. Lolita
3. The Picture of Dorian Gray
4. The Absolute Beginner's Guide to Tarot (I've been into tarot for a while, and have like 4 or 5 decks, but I haven't read anything about them more extensive than the instruction manuals that come with said decks, so I thought it was time to become more informed)
5. Drawing with the Right Side of the Brain (I used to love to draw, and was kind of good, but I seem to have lost that over the years. I've done a couple of exercises in this book and it seems pretty darn good)

If I can get through this list relatively quickly, I'll probably feel inordinately good about myself, so here's hoping.

Also, if there are any Joss Whedon fans out there, he's got this new web miniseries thing w/Neil Patrick Harris called Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-Long Blog, or something similar. I believe it's at drhorrible.com, but I'm sure searching google would do the trick. The first ep was on the 15th and of course I missed it, but it sounds good, so hopefully I'll be able to catch up today.

So I'm reading this book by Chuck Klosterman, I think it's the most recent. It's Chuck Klosterman IV, which is I guess his sad attempt to compare himself to Led Zeppelin. Anyway, I actually like CK's stuff, for the most part. I like any witty dissection of pop culture. It makes me feel all analytical.

But there's something I don't like about his writing, and his opinions, and I can't quite pin it down. It might be that I sense this undercurrent of pretentious self-awareness in everything that he writes. Sometimes, to me, he sounds like such a judgmental snob. I think what is really bothering me, though, is what is usually the cause of pretentious self-awareness and judgmental snobbery, which is a lack of compassion. That quality has always bothered me, in both people I've met and books I've read. I think it's why I mostly stick to fiction, but I feel like I can sense it there sometimes as well. 

I wish I could describe it better than that. And a part of me thinks that I feel this way mainly because he's a guy and I find it harder to relate to him. It's true. I have to wonder that if I read a similar book by a woman whether I would be so bothered. In one of his past books, CK mentions a certain 'Led Zeppelin phase' that apparently every guy goes through at some point in time. The thing is, I went through that phase, and I felt like his choice (which probably wasn't even a conscious choice, which bothers me the most) of shutting girls out of that scenario completely was a bit narrow-minded. 

I've had problems with other male authors in the past for this very reason, and they have been some of my favorite authors. The same is true for other types of entertainment. For instance, I think Judd Apatow's movies are insensitive and have some awful depictions of women, but I still think they're funny. This is certainly not all male authors, mind you, but some. And yes, I know I'm very sensitive, and most people probably don't have this type of reaction to writers like this, but I'm sure some do.

It's not that I'm overtly politically correct or anything and can't stand offensive material (I'm actually a huge fan of South Park), but there's something slightly unnerving about CK's writing that I've never liked. 

The good news is, I'm not really seeing that undercurrent in IV.  Thus far, he seems to have become more compassionate, from what I can tell, since the last book, and I'm enjoying this one quite a bit. 

HOWEVER (and this was what prompted me to type up this crazy post) before I started the book I was skimming the table of contents. In it I found a section on pirates. This made me pause, and remember the guy I used to work with (I've decided I'm going to start referring to him as 'Putz') that would bother me at lunch, being all pretentious and judgmental. He was quite a bit like the Chuck Klosterman I knew, only probably not as skilled a writer. He constantly made assumptions about me that weren't true and acted completely condescending and narrow-minded. And I remembered that one time at work he asked me (he liked to ask me questions and then disapprove-- not disagree with but disapprove-- my answers) which I liked better, pirates or ninjas. I said I liked pirates better (there is kind of a complicated reason for this answer, but to sum up, I think pirates, or our conceptions of pirates, would be more fun to be around) and he of course told me that was the wrong answer. So, on a hunch, I read through this pirate section in the book, and lo and behold, there's a comparison between ninjas and pirates. Now, I don't know for sure if that's where Putz got his brilliant question, but I'm sure if by chance he didn't get it from there he got it from somewhere, which just confirms what I already knew. He has no original thoughts, only remarks that make him feel cool.

Anywho, I was actually wondering if anyone could give me some suggestions on some great witty female authors, whom I can either learn to love or loathe (or both). I'm open to quite a bit.  

I might go to the library soon to pretend I'm not in this situation (avoidance is wonderful, isn't it) and get more stuff I won't have the time or energy to complete. I was watching a King of Queens rerun last night, and Carrie (his wife) decided to stop going on interviews temporarily so she could stay home and find herself (i.e. read, organize things around the house, think about what she wanted to do, etc.) but she just ended up laying around all day watching tv in her bathrobe. Though I'm a bit more productive than that right now, I've certainly been there. It can be really hard to motivate yourself sometimes, especially when you don't have stuff you absolutely have to do to keep you busy.

Man, I need something to distract me from all these negative thoughts. Maybe the library has that movie The Women on dvd.

Someone once said that television was the visual equivalent of chewing gum. I learned this from the charming little book I got my dad as a father's day gift, called 'Are You a Miserable Old Bastard?' (thank you, Borders) and in some sense it's totally true. Today it was certainly true.

I just lounged around and watched old episodes of 'Crossing Jordan' and 'Gilmore Girls' and stuff. Episodes I've probably seen so many times that my guess on a number is just too sad to reveal. I suck at not having a job. I'm a danger to myself and the community. The most exciting part of my day was going on youtube and watching Kathy Griffin stand up. I know a lot of people don't like her, but I just think she's awesome. I love comedians that tell stories.

Anywho, I'm starting to study for my learner's permit. This will be my second one, as I got the first one when I was 16 and it has since expired. Part of me wants to just get a license and get it over with, simply b/c it's something I've never been able to do and sometimes taking the bus is a real bitch. Plus I get shit from people all the time about it. Which is a sucky reason to do anything, but whatever. I hate being judged by people. I get judged enough as it is b/c I don't drink.

So yeah, it's kind of stressing me out. I think it's mainly b/c I'm just not great at driving. I'm not good with the quick thinking. And yet, so many people seem completely fine with this responsibility. I'm also a very visual learner, as opposed to being an auditory learner. This sounds good for driving, but on a road test, when some charming dmv employee is giving me instructions, I just have this feeling that I'd totally freeze up. Sounds fun, doesn't it. 

I said I wanted to wait until I got a license before I moved to Syracuse, but I'm thinking I'll start applying for jobs anyway, just in case I completely chicken out.

So I didn't get to go to the clearwater (is that supposed to be one word or two?) festival today. But that's okay. My mom and I went out to breakfast at this place called Lou's Diner that I like to sometimes pretend is Luke's Diner, then we went to whole foods to do some shopping. That was nice, as we don't go to whole foods too often b/c of the extra cost. They do have some great barbeque seitan and baked tofu, though.

We got home and tried to watch 'The Women' which I rented at the library the other day b/c Rosalind Russell was in it and I really liked her in 'His Girl Friday'. Unfortunately, the tape went haywire about 45 minutes in so we couldn't finish it. So now I'm debating whether or not it's worth it to go buy it at borders or to wait until I have some kind of income and get a netflix account. Anyone seen it in full? 

In some of those old movies though, I have to admit, I have trouble keeping up with everything they're saying. In this movie in particular, and especially with Rosalind Russell, she was talking so fast some of it was hard for me to understand. That could just be me and my slowness, but people seem to talk a bit more clearly in movies today. In a way though, I liked it. I felt like I was actually somewhat challenged by a movie, even though it had nothing to do with the plot.

In book news, I recently finished To Kill a Mockingbird, which I was supposed to read in high school but never did. I wish I had. I consider it a perfect coming of age story. It was also in 1,001 Books to Read Before You Die. I'm trying to read all the books on that list that I already own, which is only a few, but I think it's a good goal. Next is Lolita. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel about that one. My Russian Lit professor in college disliked it, so we'll see.

I also read the most recent in the Janet Evanovich Stephanie Plum series, which is just totally guilty pleasure reading. I don't mind though, it's nice for a summer afternoon. 

*Edited b/c 1,0001 books is a bit much. And w/the comma there, not sounding like a real number. :)

So that was a mouthful. Or whatever the typing equivalent is of a mouthful. Anyway, I hope to now continue this journal, because I do enjoy getting stuff off my chest, as well as reading what friends have written in their journals. To you all, I apologize for not responding to any posts in the last month. Things, as you've perhaps read, have been weird, but I am going to my flist right now before my fingers go numb on my keyboard.

P.S. Is anyone in the lower NY area going to the Hudson Clearwater Festival this weekend? I've gone the past few years on Sunday for Father's Day, but we're not sure about this year as my sis is out of town and it might rain. But I really wanna get a henna tattoo and cool hippie jewelry!

So I know I haven't posted in a while, but it's just been a really sucky time for me recently. I despise my job, though that has nothing to do with that guy who was bothering me (I finally got him to stop calling me darling, though now I get 'ma'am'. I despise it for a number of reasons, and have for a while now. I won't get into it, but as a for instance, yesterday my bosses (most of whom aren't really my bosses but just act like it) got unbelievably upset with me for having the gall to announce at the late hour of 3pm that I had to leave at 5pm (which is, um, the time I get paid until, as in the time I'm theoretically supposed to stop working). I was instructed that if I needed to ever leave at 5 (again, when I'm supposed to leave), I was to give them as much advanced notice as possible. The only reason I didn't quit yesterday was because my parents don't want me to until I get another job, which I am trying to do, every day.

I should say that I have nothing against overtime, but not to the point where it's expected so much that leaving at a normal time is considered weird by the people you work with. And if I actually liked anything about this job to begin with, things might be a little different, but there you go.

So, to (sort of) get my mind off of the godawful way I make a living, I decided to watch as much TV as possible.

 Would anyone think it's weird that I just now realized my lj background might be a bit dated? Or that now that I've realized it, I kind of really want to just keep it that way?

Anywho, himym thoughts- 

Though I get  no fuzzy feelings for the whole Ted/Stella relationship, it's not too bad. Though to me, the whole 'you're just looking for a reason not to be in this relationship' (or some such line), is one of the most obnoxious things a guy can say. Apparently it was a turn on for her.

Marshall was, as always, hilarious because he's Marshall, and the Will Forte character was pretty darn good, but...

Of course I was watching the whole episode for the Barney/Robin interaction, and I was actually quite relieved. I should say that I was definitely glad Robin brought up the unevenness of Ted's blame with regards to her and his ex-bro. At first I thought there would be basically no interaction at all throughout the episode (with the exception of Robin's 'no' to being Barney's wingman). But- he called her down to the bar! And she came there from Brooklyn at midnight! And she comforted him about Ted! And please let their whole thing not be swept under the rug as merely some plot device to temporarily break up Ted & Barney, cause I think I might cry at the injustice of it all. (too invested in tv, you say? nah)

On a completely unrelated note, I saw Charlie Wilson's War the other day and it was wonderful. PSH (initials b/c I don't feel like looking up the spelling of his name) is so wonderful in absolutely everything he does.

 Okay, so instead of bitching about my job, I need to post about something else. I was hoping that tonight's episode of How I Met Your Mother would help me out, but alas, no.

Not that it wasn't good. It was a perfectly good episode. But you know that Robin/Barney thing I brought up last week? Well, in true me fashion, throughout the past week since that kiss, I have quickly become obsessed with the couple and have watched nearly every episode, loving the show as a whole but also reveling in the interaction of Barney and Robin. This, of course, is not the first time I've done this. See: The Office- Jim/Pam, BtVS- Willow/Oz, That 70s Show- Jackie/Hyde, and just a couple of weeks ago Bones- Angela/Hodgins. The list goes on pretty long, actually, but for some reason those are the ones popping into my head right now. 

So yeah, anyway, while tonight's episode was perfectly good (not great, but whatever) the Barney/Robin pairing has been basically crushed, at least for the time being. I had some hope for the next episode until I heard that the Britney Spears character is coming back and dating Barney. Lord, kill me now.

Of the fictional (yes, I do know they're fictional, somewhere in the back of my twisted mind) couples mentioned above, even the ones that broke up dated for a good while. I want Barney and Robin to date! I want Britney to go away! I am having a pretty (or maybe completely) irrational livejournal tantrum! Waah!

At least it got my mind off work.

And now I'm going to try and relax and get ready for a night of 'The Office' and 'Lost'. 

**

Wow, I just read my post over and realized I definitely need to talk to him tomorrow. I don't care if I'm overreacting. This situation just sucks.

Okay, so, I've recently been getting into How I Met Your Mother, and have basically seen all of this season's episodes. It's just so. good. And that makes me happy because every so often I just feel like the era of the sitcom (one word? two?) has ended and how can they still be smart and funny and hasn't it all just been done before?  But then I get to watch a really good show and it's just wonderful. And for anyone who saw it, wasn't the Robin/Barney kiss amazing? Yes, I think so. But the whole episode was completely great too. "NOT NOW, TED!" hee.

Anyway, I was working on a file yesterday, and one of the people involved is apparently named Nunzio. And, for some reason, I found this incredibly funny. It was only later that I realized why. I know the name from a Boy Meets World episode where the girls go out dancing with Sergio and Nunzio at the Boom Boom Room (if I'm remembering correctly), and Cory would constantly say "Nunzio!" in this really threatening voice throughout the episode. I haven't seen BMW in a while, but just the memory of that made me so thrilled yesterday. And yes, I know, dork.

 

There was one bright shining moment on Thursday night when that office craziness was eclipsed by another, brilliant office craziness of the Michael Scott variety, so that made me happy, albeit briefly. Anybody see that? Anybody think Jim Halpert is just absolutely perfect on like every level of everything? Just wondering.

I also got to hang out with my friend a bit yesterday, and she's also completely stressed, over her senior thesis and stuff, so we both had a grand old time bitching to each other, mainly about how we feel much older than we actually are, which I hope is normal.

I'm thinking of going to the library today, as I have homwork from my class and there are just way too many distractions around my house right now. FUN. (Actually, I kind of love the library, so I will actually probably find it fun, which is not surprising, as I am a dork who does not do the things normal people my age do- sorry, in kind of a self-pitying mood right now). 

Edit to say: Wow, I just realized how unhappy my mood icons have been lately. That seriously needs to improve- at least to the level of apathetic, anyway.

 I'm watching the Wetv marathon of High School Confidential. It's really bumming me out. And not because of some of the awful things the girls go through, b/c I felt pretty effing awful all through high school (and most of college) so I can't really feel that sorry for them. Actually I'm a bit jealous. Not about the awfulness, of course, but about how they seemed to get through it and be genuinely smarter by the end. Like they really learned from their experiences. By the end of high school I still had my head totally up my a$$, and I so wish that I had had a different perspective on things back then. Nothing like watching a high school documentary to bring up all those lovely regrets.

Anywho, as the guy I work with wasn't being asinine on Friday (I think he knew he went too far the other day with his ridiculousness), someone else had to come along and piss me off, just so things would be normal and the planets would be aligned and all that stuff.

I have a monthly uniticket for the bus and train that I use everyday to get to and from work, and for some reason the bus driver yesterday refused to take it because he thought it wasn't the right ticket. He was so incredibly rude (and obviously a complete idiot since I'd been using the card all week and no other bus driver had a problem with it). I am certainly not insulting all bus drivers here, who are usually quite friendly and have no problem with unitickets, but this particular driver. I asked him if he wanted me to go get someone to prove to him that it was a valid ticket, and he just said "I want you to pay your fare, or get off the bus". So now tomorrow I have to ask at the ticket window if there's any other proof I can show this genius that will be enough to get on the bus. And if he still won't believe me I'll have to refuse to get off the bus until he gets someone else to come over and look at the uniticket. Since I am horrible at any kind of confrontation, I can imagine what fun that will be.

Okay, so that guy at work who was annoying me with his judgments, got about a thousand times worse today. He for some reason thinks that I'm not experiencing life (I think he may have actually used that phrase, and I tried not to laugh in his face). I really, really hate that. I won't get into details, but he was truly asinine, in the most condescending way possible. At one point I said to him, 'I have my own experiences, and I have no desire to do some of the things that you were talking about. It's not that pot, etc., is bad, I'm just not interested.'  (or something to that effect). And he said, 'I think you believe that.' 

The sheer nerve of this guy. As if he somehow knows me better than I know myself. He's just coming off as cruel, at this point. I told him he didn't need to criticize my life because I didn't criticize his, and he said something like, 'that's because I'm very persuasive' in this smug way that made me want to get up and leave. Sometimes I feel like he actually thinks he's flirting, which would be really twisted b/c not only am I not interested, but I don't even want to hang out with him at all now.

I'm so bad at confrontation, but tomorrow I have to tell him to stop acting like an ass and grow up or I'm not subjecting myself to his company at lunch anymore.

In other news, my first obgyn appt is over, so I'm glad. The anxiety is the worst part. The actual appt lasted about 3 minutes, including getting a shot, so no big deal. I just like to freak out sometimes.

Anyway, I'm only slightly freaked out about my first real obgyn appt tomorrow, since my last visit was only a consultation. It's on April 1st, and I'm wondering what that says about me. :)

So my sister and I went into Union Square yesterday to do a bit of shopping. Because both of us are pretty much unbelievably oblivious to everything that goes on, basically everywhere, we were unaware of the protest and the mass pillow fight. Part of me wishes I had known and brought a pillow, but another part of me knows that after a few minutes I would have gotten sick of swallowing feathers and left. As it was, I got about a lungful of them just from passing by. We got in close to it right before the police started to break the whole thing up. I heard one of them talking on his walkie-talkie thing about getting rid of the pillow people.

Of course I think the whole idea for the pillow thing was from an Aquafina commercial, which is kind of sad, but maybe it's not true and I'm just mistaken (a definite possibility).

Other than it being really crowded though, it was nice. We ate at this place called The Organic Grill, which was in my little vegetarian guidebook to NYC, and it was pretty awesome, even though the place itself was so tiny. I also got to go to Sabon, which is a nice little bath and body place with wonderful (but totally overpriced) soaps. 'Twas good.

Today was lazier. I caught up on those two Reaper episodes I hadn't gotten the chance to see yet. Man, did I miss that show. I didn't realize how much, since the writer's strike had gone on for so long, but it was just so nice to watch some really good tv. I can't wait for the rest of my shows to come back as well. Of course, the networks have decided to conspire against me by having Reaper, Lost, and The Office all on on Thursdays, when I have my class, but I have my weekends to do my catching up.

Other than that I've just been busily avoiding anything that resembles homework for my class, so I can let it pile up and leave myself only the bare minimum of time to get it done. 'Tis my way.